this side of heaven.....what are we leaving behind?

Two and a half years ago I lost a friend........ I still think about her almost everyday. It has gotten easier as I knew it would, but sometimes the tears still come--but then so does the laughter when I think about something funny she said or did. We had some good times together, especially when I was doing her hair. I wouldn't take anything for those times.....I just wish now I had more of them.

Probably most people have fond memories of their grandparents and I'm sure a lot of people grew up living close to them, but I grew up next door to mine and that was the best! My other grandparents didn't live too far away either so I had the privilige of being close to all of them and I think that is very rare. Unfortunately I had to learn about sickness and losing a close loved one very early in life. My Mammaw died of cancer when I was 8 and I was devastated.......then 5 years later on the same day my Pappaw died of a heart attack. I always thought that was kind of sweet that he was missing her SO much that he went to be with her on that day. I loved them so much and still miss them but it was a different kind of relationship than I had with my other grandparents because I got to keep them longer.

Nannie and Papa got to see me grow up and celebrated all my milestones up to when I got engaged. Papa died before I got married which was hard but I think it was harder watching Nannie be by herself missing him. She was such a strong woman though....I spent several nights with her when Papa was in the hospital and after he died. A couple of days later she got up in the morning and made me breakfast...(wasn't i supposed to be taking care of her?) and announced that she was finished crying and then told me I should go home and that she'd be fine.

It was after that when our relationship started growing and I started really knowing her better and we became friends. She was always so interested in hearing about what I had been doing, which seemed boring to me but fascinating to her. I took her to all her doctors appointments and we'd do lunch. I rolled her hair every Saturday evening after work and I couldn't leave until we sat at the table and ate some chocolate covered mints. She was great cook and would make me a chocolate pie every now and then and so we'd have pie AND mints. One day we decided that I needed to know how to make this fabulous pie so I could enjoy it after she was gone. I got a pen and she started telling me her "recipe"....which I quickly found out was not going to work. When she cupped her hands and said, "put about this much sugar"....I said, "hold up Nannie, can you give me a measurement??" With a look on her face like I was crazy, she said "this much!" waving her cupped hands at me as if I didn't see them the first time. I just died laughing and said, "I don't cook like that! Heck, I don't even cook so i need step by step directions!" So then I decided we'd just make a pie right then and before she'd throw in her "pinch or dash" I'd get her to throw it in a measuring spoon and wrote down the closest recipe to Nannie's Fabulous Chocolate Pie as I could. I must say we got pretty close because I've made it a few times since and it was pretty darn good.....I just don't have "angel tears" on my meringue, and we never figured out why. I guess because I'm not Nannie.

She would tell me stories about her childhood although she really didn't have much of one because her mom died when she was 13 and she helped raise her younger siblings.(which is probably how she learned to cook so well) She told me the story of when she was little and spent her lunch money in a slot machine in the country store......about how she used to be really good at playing marbles with her friends.....about how she and Papa met. Stories about when my dad and his brothers were little....the story behind how she acquired the clock that I always admired--that is now proudly displayed in my bedroom. I loved hearing the stories but I regret not writing them down, I'm afraid that even now I don't remember them right.

One story I'll never forget is one that she didn't tell me, one that she had no idea of but it was a testimony of who she was and the legacy she left behind. It was a year after she died and my dad and I were visiting a friend's church and they had share time where people would just stand up and tell whatever was on their heart. A man I've always known got up and told of his Sunday school teacher he had when he was a kid....how that Sunday school teacher influenced his life and how SHE was the reason that he knew Jesus today. It was my Nannie.....I had no idea he even knew her..... That's when I knew that her life not only impacted mine but so many other people as well.....who knew.... but isn't THAT what it's all about? It's not the big things you do, but the relationships you have and the people you influence by how you live your life.

My Nannie didn't think she was anyone special and as she got older she worried about becoming a burden and wondered why in the world she was still here......but she had no idea that in spite of her seemingly ordinary life, there will be more people in heaven some day because of her-- and THAT is an extraordinary accomplishment. The ultimate legacy.